Raising a son is an interesting journey. There are many things to consider when caring for boys. This post breaks down some of the reasons why I love being a boy mom and the importance of raising boys on the right path.
Teaching your son to be a gentleman sounds exciting when your child is a toddler. It’s not until they leave the toddler stage that you quickly realize raising a son requires a lot more patience.
From finding random clothing items throughout the house to pieces of LEGO creations in the dryer, it sometimes feels like a losing battle. As soon as you prepare your truce speech, a little head peeks through the door.
Those arms reach out for a hug and somehow they manage to spot the candy wrapper from your favorite treat. A hand reaches out, no words are exchanged.
Just a piece of the candy you had stashed away for moments like this. That’s when you realize that this is your truce. As much as you’d like to hang on to your last piece of candy, he manages to get you to hand it over.
You hold them thinking they’ll forever be momma’s boy.
What Does The Term Boy Mom Mean?
Being a boy mom means having a son or sons. Most boy moms have at least one boy, and can have a girl or girls as well.
The term isn’t meant to push gender-specific roles. It’s used to identify with other moms with boys at home.
How Can I Be A Good Boy Mom?
You don’t need to fit a mold to be a good mom in general. In fact, you don’t need to be like anyone else to be a good boy mom at all.
Being a good mom to your child just means being there for them — and their specific needs. As you continue to navigate through the interesting world of parenting, you’ll notice how much goes into being a mom.
To get more out of being a mom — let alone a good one — you’ll need to do the following:
- Forgive the mess
- Understand when to help
- Never forget a promise
- Don’t take yourself too seriously
- Stay in your lane
It can be easy to get caught up in the messy side of life. Whether it’s learning how to keep your home tidy as a boy mom or trying to raise 3 kids at once, you’ll learn what’s best for you and your family.
Understanding when to help and when to let your child sort the issue out on their own is key. You might want to chime in, but there are certain issues that can escalate if they’re not handled properly.
Talking to your child often can help them learn how to deal with situations on their own.
Never forget a promise to your child. They will always bring it up, and the less you keep your word, the less they trust it.
As time goes on, you’ll learn to not take yourself too seriously. It’s a matter of understanding that life happens, and the less you feel yourself getting overwhelmed, the better off you’ll be.
With time, you’ll learn the value of staying in your lane and focusing on what works best for you and your family.
Observations From Raising My Sons
If you’re expecting a son, then you’re probably doing some research into what does boy mom mean. It shouldn’t alarm you if you see memes that show how stressful it can be.
After years of raising two boys, I’ve come to the conclusion that fighting is just part of their nature. There are other things that highlight what it’s like to care for boys and I share them below.
Here are daily observations of raising boys.
1. Costumes are part of their wardrobe.
I don’t recall any of my brothers having this many costumes growing up, but boy moms (myself included) find themselves folding more superhero costumes than underwear.
Also, the superhero gloves have become part of their daily attire.
Quick tip: Boy mom life is a lot more interesting when you throw on a costume as well and take on the day.
2. Keeping them busy requires strategy.
When I plan a day with the family, I always think of ways to tire the kids out. The boys have too much energy throughout the day, and oftentimes require more active play.
I’ve created a strategy that can help other moms with boys. The key is to spend 30-45 minutes doing an activity that they enjoy.
For some, it might be sports-related or playing hide and seek. Make sure it requires them to get moving.
We love doing water balloon fights in the summer with the kids. There are other ways to be a fun mom throughout the week.
3. Weapons are everywhere.
After the birth of our first son, I didn’t want anything to do with guns. Fast-forward to today, the kids have Nerf guns, water guns, and toy guns throughout the house.
Even if you’ve opted to not go with toy guns, boys manage to figure out how to create their own weapons. The boys have used my kitchen spatula as a sword, and the top of pots and pans as shields.
They’re creative individuals, but I often find my kitchen items in their bedroom or playroom.
4. Clothes don’t last long.
I notice being a boy mom meant little to no clothes. There’s always a laundry pile waiting for me by the wash, and the boys love wearing the same shirts over and over again.
5. They love talking about what’s going on.
If you’re looking to watch a movie or catch a show, then you’re out of luck. As a mom of boys, you’ll be listening to your son talking about everything that’s happening in his life. Never discourage him from opening up. This will come in handy in the near future.
How To Raise Confident Boys
As a mom of boys, you’re faced with a variety of issues. You want to protect them from the world, but you also know they need to experience life for themselves.
My husband and I often remind our kids that we’d rather be tough on them early on so that they don’t grow up thinking others will always be kind.
Kindness and love is always flowing in our home, but we teach the kids that there are consequences to their actions. Time outs are given often, and we ask the kids why they need to be placed away from everyone else.
Teach your son the value in discipline.
The boys have learned to respect themselves and others around them by understanding that there are others in this world. This allows them to be considerate of others.
It wasn’t always this way. My husband and I have taken the time to instill this in their minds.
This has helped our boys understand that we won’t accept anything less from them. Mistakes happen, and we acknowledge this as parents.
We also understand that mistakes can be avoided. “Don’t say sorry, be careful” are words you often hear in our home.
Teach him to communicate how he feels.
Feelings are important and our boys know that expressing themselves is one of the best ways to communicate with someone. Although it’s not common in society that men share their feelings, we encourage it around here.
By sharing their emotions with others, they’re giving someone the opportunity to understand what they’re going through. Closing yourself out can hurt you in more ways than one.
Encourage your son to learn how to do chores.
It’s no surprise that when Mr. Miyagi wanted to teach Daniel about the basics in “The Karate Kid”, he made sure he knew how to use his hands.
Not only did the boy learn to use them but he also tried different techniques in the process. Completing chores is the foundation of taking care of yourself and those around you.
If you can’t help in your home, how else will you help those in your community? Always help them in the process and teach your son how to improve.
Help your son understand independence.
Whether you decide to pay your child for helping around the house or not, it’s important for them the learn about being independent and earning money.
The summer is a great time when kids earn money for helping others. Use this as a lesson to teach your child how they can work towards a goal.
Raise your son to respect boundaries.
There are lines you cannot cross, and this ties into discipline. There comes a time when as a boy mom will need to give your child their space.
Privacy is important for children as they get older. However, you should be involved in their daily life. This is where communication comes into play.
I asked the kids, and one of my sons said to play with him more. It was an eye-opener because I didn’t realize how much they missed playing with me.
Raising A Son Quotes
Despite the mess, there’s always a hug at the end of the day. I don’t know how long they’ll want to cuddle on the couch for a movie, but I’ll take it any day.
Some of the thoughts that cross my mind as a mom of boys are whether I’m doing enough and if they’re happy.
A friend shared something on Facebook recently that made me question our kids. He shared a post from a mom who asked her son “What can I do to be a better mom?”
Sometimes you think that having multiple children means they can entertain each other. However, you still need to be present.
I had already been doing movie nights with them, but that wasn’t enough. That’s when I pulled out the LEGO pieces and decided to dedicate at least one hour a day to building the LEGO city I had promised them months ago.
Boy Mom Gifts For The Exhausted Parent
Self-care should be top of mind for every parent. It’s one of the hardest lessons I’ve learned since becoming a mother.
Although parenting can be an exciting time in your life, it’s also exhausting and can take over your everyday life if you let it. The keywords being if you let it.
However, raising a son will test your patience and require you to place your sanity over everything. This is why self-care will help you get through those moments.
1. A facial cleansing brush
This facial cleansing brush has been one of the best products I’ve added to my self-care routine. It’s not only practical for busy moms but also functional in cleansing and exfoliating your skin.
2. A scented candle
There are a variety of scented candles to choose from, and you can always purchase items that fit your budget.
3. A gift card to a family restaurant for take-out
Home-cooked meals are great, but sometimes a mom just needs a day off from the kitchen. Ordering a family-favorite dish is the perfect way to thank her (and minimize the mess in the house).
What Do You Say To A Boy Mom?
Knowing what to say to a boy mom depends on what not to say to them. Being a boy mom can be a tricky subject.
There’s this notion that your child can’t cry or that they need to toughen up. In reality, emotions are just part of growing up. Instead, you can tell your child to let you know what they’re feeling and why.
Those couple of minutes with you just explaining how they feel and why makes a difference in their day — and their lives!
This lets them know they are loved and appreciated, regardless of how simple the situation might be. To them, at this moment, those emotions matter, and they should matter to you enough to hear your child out.
Another boy mom saying that should be done away with is, “boys will be boys”. It’s incorrect and implies that all boys act the same. Just as not all girls are the same, neither are boys.
Generalization of a gender can be degrading at times. The phrase creates stereotypes of genders, creating unconscious biases, and limits children from expressing themselves.
As a parent, you want your child to grow up in a loving and accepting environment. One that allows your child to express their personality without having to think twice about someone’s opinions.
Are Boy Moms Or Girl Moms Happier?
Whether a parent is happier for being a boy mom or a girl mom is irrelevant. It’s all about the struggles you face as a parent in general.
On one end, you may think boys are easier to raise than girls because there’s less worry about them. However, there’s just as much concern for boys than there is for girls.
The same fears you face while raising a son is the same you fear while parenting a daughter. Yes, girls can get pregnant, but boys get girls pregnant.
Girls go through body — and attitude — changes, and so do boys. There are a lot of similarities when raising the two genders. You see it more when raising both sexes in one household.
Don’t let society fool you into thinking one sex is easier than the other. It’s all about how you raise your child.
Focus on teaching them the fundamentals of what it means to be a kind, loving person. Not only to others, but with themselves as well.
“Happier moms” are not gender-based. These parents know what it takes to raise their child, and they do it daily without focusing on someone else’s lifestyle.
If you want to be a happier mom, then be it. Find out what that means to you and just go for it.
What Being A Mom To Boys Has Taught Me
Over the years, I noticed a slight change in my perception of what being a boy mom means. With the amount of energy my 2 boys have, it’s no wonder I’m always exhausted by the end of the day.
Understanding that they need to let out more energy than my daughter hasn’t been an easy adjustment, but it’s been worth it to let them just be themselves. From piles of dirty laundry to their obsession with toy cars, it’s interesting to be parenting 2 boys at the same time.
When I brought my first born son into this world, I never imagined there would be so much to consider when being a boy mom. Some days I’m too exhausted to even think. Other times I really question my sanity.
There’s a part in the day when I realize there’s more to being a mom of boys. It means raising someone’s future spouse and instilling in them the right values.
My husband and I had two different upbringings, but in all the madness, we found common grounds. We use these teachings to raise our kids in our home.
Boys love to connect with their moms, and it’s been a blessing to have two who genuinely care for my well-being. At times it feels like the boys are a handful.
That’s when I set time aside to really talk to them about their behavior. One thing I’ve noticed about our boys is the more you explain things to them, the better they understand what’s expected of them.
Final Thoughts On Being A Boy Mom
Aside from breaking up fights and endless competitions, having a son can be a blessing. With two, there’s a timeless bond that will always mend regardless of what happens.
Raising a son can be exhausting — as with any kid.
You want to make time for them, and genuinely hear them out. Let your child voice their opinions. Whatever might be bothering them at the moment is important to them. It should be important to you, too.
Make time for one-on-one dates with your son. He’ll appreciate it as he continues to grow.
26 responses to “What Being A Boy Mom Means And Life Lessons”
Surprisingly, my boys don’t wear many costumes. They went through a phase for a few months that they wore their old Halloween costumes, but that was it. It’s amazing how they can run you through the ringer but then have all the love and hugs for you at bedtime!!
I have 4 boys so I know all about how hard it is to raise them. My boys did best with boundries and having something to do.
Omg yes to all of this! I have a 3.5 year old boy who is all boy’ always a weapon!
I have a daughter but she’s really into fantasy, so she makes swords out of everything!
This line cracked me up, “moms find themselves folding more superhero costumes than underwear.” So true, plus, my son loves pajamas because they have all his favorite characters on them so I fold more of those than anything else and he used to want to wear them 24/7.
I don’t have any boys, just two girls. I have a few nephews though, so I kinda know about some of this. The whole costume thing is definitely spot on.
My husband and I have noticed quite few differences in parenting girls and parenting boys. But, it does keep life interesting and the house full of noise and laughter.
I’ve been working on the chores thing lately with my son. I want him to know that you have to work hard in life to earn the things you want, aka, a paycheck.
My boy is now 16 years old. I hear you about the toy guns. We had Nerf guns and water guns galore! They grow up way too fast. I miss the cuddles.
These are so true! Raising boys really requires lots of strategy in teaching them about independence and life. This is a really helpful post.
I knew it was challenging to raise boys but didn’t realize just HOW challenging. My grandma raised 10 (yes TEN!!) boys and they all grew up to be upstanding men. I can’t believe it’s possible but I love her even more.