I’ve always been fascinated with couples who have been together for over 30 years. My parents will be celebrating their 40th this year and it’s been one heck of a roller coaster for them.
Most of the couples I’ve asked say a long-term marriage is reflected upon the communication between the two parties.
But I have to disagree.
Creating Your Foundation
Some people will only tell you what they want you to hear, and in some cases, they might even hear what they would like you to say.
If your relationship is built on trust, you know that whatever comes out from your significant other’s lips is the truth. And when they use a white lie to keep you from worrying too much, you take it for face value.
And this is where communication comes in.
Sitting your partner down in times when you sense something is wrong will help strengthen the trust between the two of you.
Building From Trust
Most people don’t realize how important trust is, and hold on to a relationship even after the trust they had has faded.
But to make something work, you need to continue to work on it. Like laying out the foundation of a home, you have to build from the ground up.
You won’t set up windows without walls. You need something to look into before you can look out of it.
Everything you bring to the table needs to help in building your relationship.
For some people, building good relationships come naturally. But that’s always the case for everyone.
If they haven’t had a good example in their own home, it can be tough.
I mentioned my parents have had a roller coaster marriage. And for a good portion of my life, I thought that was normal.
Until I started dating of course.
I always thought being submissive was a positive thing. I thought men would yell regardless.
But that’s not true.
Jeff and I don’t yell at each other to get our point across, we discuss.
I thought complaining to others solved issues. That’s not true either.
Jeff and I talk things out. If there’s anyone we should be complaining to, it’s to each other.
We’re not perfect, but we know what’s worked in the past and what would only cause issues in the end.
We’ve created a family, and although our foundation has taken time to build, we’ve been able to patiently do so.
Isn’t that what matters most?
37 responses to “Let Trust Be The Foundation”
Without communication there can't be trust. I do trust my husband, but I need to be able to talk to him and vice versa first.
I think it's based on the relationship you have with your partner. For me, I need to trust you before I can freely communicate with someone. And that's what has helped my husband and I open up to each other.
You are so right, if you don't have the foundation then how can you create a happy marriage? Open communication is the key to longevity.
Thanks, Ana. I'm all for communicating. You just have to make sure you're willing to put in work.
I agree, they do go hand in hand, I am not one that is very open about my feelings in general so I need there to be an element of trust before I even let you in, and that's where I build from
Exactly. I'm the same way. I need to trust the person before I'll be completely honest with them.
It sounds like you and your husband have made effective communication the cornerstone of your marriage and I think that's so important. Great post.
Thank you. It hasn't always been easy, but we try to always put ourselves in the other person's shoes.
Communication is the most important thing in a marriage for sure! And empathy for sure!
I love that you brought up empathy. It's definitely important for marriage, and relationships in general.
I'm impressed with people who have been married that long as well. Trust is SO important – when it's gone everything turns bad!
Yeah, you hear so many stories about divorce that it really makes you appreciate long-term relationships.
Trust is very very important. I think that should really be the foundation that most relationship is based on. Without that, nothing else really matters.
That is true. Trust plays a huge role in relationships.
Communication is the key to all relationships. I also think people think confrontation is a negative thing, but it can be the catalyst for great growth.
I agree. It really has to do with how you confront people. Some will wait until they've had it and blow off steam. That's just a headache for the other person. And you suffer as well.
Trust and communication are key in a relationship and go hand-in-hand. The moment you have to start playing detective in a relationship, you will not get that trust back. Without that trust, you will not communicate as you should.
I agree. It's such a great balance when you have both in your relationship. And based on experience, playing detective isn't fun.
for me, communication is only part of it. You also have to have respect and a willingness to see the other person happy. I've been married to my husband for nearly 16 years and I love him more now than I ever had. He's a wonderful man who does many little things to show me that he cares. That's all i need.
Hey TP, thanks for chiming in. I really love that you brought up how you love your husband more after 15+ years. It's beautiful (and inspiring) to know that the love between the two of you has increased with time.