Starting fresh often means you have to invite new people into your life. Although most of my family and friends might find it hard to believe that I struggle with making unique friendships.
I love the family and friends I already have, and I’m open to making new friends. But there’s one thing you need to realize about making new friends. It’s a lot like dating. And you run into some people who just don’t vibe well with you.
And most importantly, you can’t force anything on anyone.
No matter how many mommy and me events/playdates you attend, it eventually dies out. Creating meaningful friendships is often been compared to the dating scene. And I’m not surprised since I’ve experienced both.
Building A Connection
Creating a friendship with other moms feels like you’re on at speed dating event. You have minutes to make a connection. Some will be able to create them, while others judge you by appearance.
I’ve been fortunate enough to keep a really good friend in my life. She’s even the godmother of my children. Yes, I love her that much. But unlike most people, we don’t have to talk every single day, or take photos of us going out to show we have a great relationship. We just have a great friendship. She’s practically family to me.
But she lives in NJ not too far from where I grew up.
I complained to Jeff the other day about how much I don’t like making new friends. He told me to have patience, and that everything will eventually fall into place.
It’s been two and a half years since we moved to South Florida. Everyone has their own lives and have friendships with people they’ve known for years.
Most of the moms I’ve been able to connect with through my blog either live too far away or are busy with their own lives to add playdates. Which — let’s be honest — playdates are like the Netflix and chill of parenting. You’re really just trying to have a good time with little effort. I don’t know anyone who gets dressed up for playdates. A little mascara and lip balm goes a long way.
So I keep up with my blog to connect with others, not just brands. Having a blog has opened doors for me, but it’s also made me realize there’s so much more that goes into blogging than most people think. I thought I was “selling” myself as a marketing manager/B2B editor back in the corporate world. But these days, I’m “selling” myself on a daily basis. It’s a one-woman show: writing, editing, designing, marketing, SALES – you name it, I’m doing it.
Although I’m very proud of myself and the things I’ve been able to accomplish thus far, I will admit that I haven’t been able to successfully create on-going friendships with those that I’ve met since moving to South Florida.
Instead of focusing on what I really don’t have much control over, I have chosen to focus on these three things in my life:
1. My family.
Our move was to help improve our family life, and creating a blog has kept me busy. I never want to take away from either one of them because both keep me sane.
One of my favorite bloggers said it best, “relationships have been torn apart because of blogging…Set up a time for blogging and for your family.”
2. My current relationships.
The people who are already in my life have seen me at my best and at my worst. They understand who I am and what I’m about. I love them for accepting me as is. I need to find time to reconnect with each of them. It’s always fun to reminisce on the good times you’ve had with friends.
This list isn’t any particular order, but I will admit that I need to really start caring for myself more. I’ve gone back to walking in the mornings, and will occasionally take a swim in the pool. It’s always a good idea to care for yourself as much as you care for others.
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2 responses to “Not Everyone Wants To Be Your Mom Friend, And That’s Okay”
While I'm not yet a mama myself I do appreciate this sentiment and will keep it in mind!
Thanks, Shane. It's not easy. Sometimes it's like high school except you don't have friends from grammar school who registered with you. Starting fresh is scary, but you get through it. 🙂