The words, “it’s a girl” took on a different meaning for me when I found out the sex of our child before 20 weeks. It was through bloodwork that I was told the answer to our baby’s sex.
I had been calling to know the results of some tests and they told me they couldn’t tell me part of them, but that if I wanted to know the baby’s gender, I could.
I said yes, and she replied with “It’s a girl”.
I cried, and I couldn’t believe it.
I didn’t cry because it was a girl, but I cried because I was going through so much emotionally during the pregnancy and the answer scared me.
Raising Them Right
Convincing myself that it was okay to have a third without losing myself was tough.
This wasn’t the first time I was surprised by a test result, but I was hoping it would be the last.
Weeks later, I found out I had gestational diabetes. In my mind, I imagined my uncle and all he did to control his diabetes. I was terrified of what lied ahead.
Fortunately, my issue was controlled by changing my eating habits. Less candy, more water. Oh, and eating at the right times was definitely a plus.
Life was about to get more interesting.
Making The Effort
On some days, I swear I can hear my mother’s voice coming out of my lips. That’s when I try to change my tone with our kids.
Although our kids make me smile, they also stress me out.
Day in and day out with tiny humans can be exhausting. For my mom, it was a mix of being overworked and feeling tired.
I understood why my mother worked a lot, but I could never understand why she never took the time to chat with us. To ask us how our day went and what we did at school.
Fortunately, my father did.
He left his work at the door when he’d clock out. My mother brought it home with her.
Yes, nursing is a lot more exhausting than working at a factory, but he always made my brothers and I feel like he cared.
He did his best to comb my hair as a child. He even brought me to dance class on the weekends.
It wasn’t until high school that I began to form somewhat of a bond with my mother. This was also the time I started dating more, and she always had advice for me.
However, I was already experienced in that field and by college thought I was ready to settle down. Thankfully, that never happened and I met my husband years later.
Replacing My Mother
Growing up wasn’t the easiest for me. While most girls had their moms to lean on, I had my dad. It was beautiful to have a connection with him, but it wasn’t the one I longed for.
I always wanted to connect with my mom. Bonding with my aunts filled that void.
I’m forever grateful to the aunts who stepped up in my life, and I continue to have a great relationship with them.
Three of my mother’s sisters lived with us while I was growing up, but never at the same time.
First Martha, then Clara and eventually Zoila.
From Martha, I learned what it means to be selfless and fall in love — hard. She also taught me what it means to work as a team with your spouse. I’ve always admired her relationship with my late uncle John.
My tia Zoila taught me to always look and feel fabulous. She even taught me about the importance of DIY beauty, how to shave and how you really don’t need to go to the salon to tame my curls.
As for Clara, she’s been there since day one and raised as her own. Listening to all my crazy thoughts and making sense out of them. She knew I was obsessed with nails and would always bring me boxes of them to play with.
Her love to 80’s music and Volvos has been engraved into my heart.
I learned a lot from these women, and continue to do so every step of the way.
13 responses to “That Mother-Daughter Bond”
My mom and father had made ahuge impact on m life. I goa is to pass those down to my children.
I have a daughter myself, she’s 3 year old and our bond is strong, I shall say much stronger than with my boy. As a child I didn’t have a similar bond with my mother!
Every relationship is different. Glad you are close to your dad and your aunts and have a great support system.