For months I’ve been jotting down ideas, planning my next move and staring at a list of things I’d like to accomplish before 2018.

I’ve even looked into ideas I’d like to manifest by my 30th birthday. Today, those things are currently on hold. 

After finding out that we’ll be having a third child, my heart dropped. I sensed it, even when my husband swore I would get my period.

It didn’t happen. 

The signs were there, the emotions kept coming in. For months I’ve watched friends announce their pregnancies and some would announce the termination of them. It was hard to read about the later. 

There’s a part of me that feels as though I should feel happy about being able to conceive. It’s a wonderful blessing, but I’m a bit heartbroken. 

Three kids? Two dogs? Yes, more responsibilities and less time for myself. 

Call me selfish, but I was just starting to plan things I’d be doing while our eldest headed over to VPK and our youngest would nap. Now, I’ll probably be throwing up and napping around the same time as the baby to get enough strength to deal with everyday life. 

The Light
Finding out we’re expecting a third child made me wonder whether not I’d be able to handle the new addition or if I’d snap. 

Thankfully, I sat down and talking things over with my husband. It felt nice to voice my concerns with someone I love. 

Did you ever have to put something on hold? 

3 responses to “On Hold”

  1. I can understand all those emotions! Imagine being 46 and expecting a third. The thought of it gives me so much anxiety BUT we know that God doesn’t give us more than we can handle and a baby is a blessing and a miracle and I’ve seen you “mother.” Your going to be fantastic!!!!!!! Think back to this time time last year where you were and where you are now. Your an inspiration! Congrats.

  2. Completely understandable! Love your honesty and raw emotions. It will be tough and you should definitely allow yourself to feel these feelings. I’m pretty sure it will all disappear once you feel that first kick. 😉 And if it doesn’t, that’s okay too. No one will be making more sacrifice than you. It’s okay to mourn the plans you had. But I promise they will be there when you get back. 🙂 Congrats my friend, you are going to rock being a mom of three. 🙂

  3. As you know, I have 3 kids – 3 precious girls. And I’m not 30 yet. Next year. Is having 3 kids hard? It can be. It’s a matter of finding what type of system/schedule works the best for you. You just figure it out at each stage of the baby’s life. You have too. It’s what you do as a mom. So Fatima, it may seem hard at times, just know that you can do it. And remember, I’m always here you need anything.


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