My son’s first day of preschool was today and although he was excited to explore something new, I wasn’t too happy about leaving him in the care of someone else. 

It’s been two years since Sebastian was born, and somehow I can’t seem to come to terms that he’s growing up. 
Last night, I spent about 20 minutes skimming through old photos of him. Jeff and I agree that he no longer has that baby face we knew so well. He’s turned into this little man. 
The Drop-Off
After rushing through morning traffic to make it on time to Sebastian’s first day, I took him out of his car seat and he walked out of the car. He put his backpack on and held my hand. He knew it was time to go to school because it was all I kept telling him last week. He really likes being at his preschool, even before his first day, he’d love going to visit whenever we had a chance. 
But it wasn’t that easy for me. 
Before skimming through old photos last night, I searched his preschool online just to make sure I didn’t miss anything from my research. Part of me was hoping to fine something negative so I could prolong his first day of preschool. But there wasn’t anything. All good reviews and happy parents who chose the same preschool, and even I got a good vibe whenever I met with the staff. 
The Mommy Escape
Sebastian was shy at first when he entered his classroom and clinged onto me when his teacher came in to introduce herself. Although I was terrified inside, I told him everything was going to be alright. It was morning snack time when I decided to make my escape. Part of me wanted to stay with him the entire time, but I knew it wasn’t going to help him adapt to the school environment. 
He sat at the round table with his peers and began eating his Cheerios like everyone else. And I slowly made my way to the door. 
I kept looking back to make sure he didn’t see me leave, and headed to the front desk where I finished his paperwork. 
Driving away from his school was what really made me upset. I didn’t even fix the captain chair I had to slide forward to get Sebastian out of the car. Usually, the sound of the chair rolling forward and back drives me nuts, but today I didn’t mind it so much. It was soothing. 
I missed knowing Sebastian was with me during the ride home, and the sound of the captain chair rolling around made up for the solitude. 
Now to wait for noon to roll around so I can pick up my little guy. I can’t wait to ask him about his first day and speak with his teacher on how he did. 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Ready to make yourself a priority?

Subscribe to The Self-Care Mom weekly newsletter and join the conversation on Facebook.