Time has a funny way of showing you a different side to people, places, and things. 

Do you remember watching your favorite movie for the first time? Did you miss out on anything from the first and second time you saw it? Well, life is a lot like that. Life is a lot like a baseball game. There is someone on the pitcher’s mound waiting to throw a curve ball right at you hoping you swing and miss. Miss it three times and you are out, but that is not always the case. Sometimes you find yourself swinging so many times and no one calls an out.

…You keep missing every pitch.

But then there are moments you feel like the pitcher. You keep hoping the person will miss, strike out so your team could get a chance to score a homerun — or two! — and show the opposing team how you are better than them.

…And they never strike out. 

In both scenarios, you feel stuck. You keep trying your best to swing, to pitch, and nothing. Just the same thing happens every time, you keep repeating the same steps without a different outcome. This would drive anyone insane.

My days are a lot like that now. The “hoping,” the whole “feeling stuck” — every possible emotion anyone could think of as a person in my shoes. With the many changes in my life this year alone, I have not taken the time out to think them through. I have been practically saying, “Yes,” to everything without thinking of how it will impact me on the longrun. (I guess it is okay to finally be a little selfish). Going back to the analogy, I have been pitching aimlessly to a batter, and I do not even care if ball hits them or the umpire. And sometimes, the batter and the umpire are me.

With time, I have been opening my eyes and realizing how fast everything is happening. And, that I have a voice. I have kept quiet for far too long, and I am over it. From family to friends, I am not taking their crap anymore. Oh, and as for forced interactions — yeah, those are out the window.

Believe me when I say there is a new me slowly cracking out of her shell, and I know it will not happen over night. I trust that she will know when the time is right to let herself be seen.

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday. 😉 

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