One of the most valuable lessons I’ve ever learned after becoming a parent has been to trust myself.
You can really drive yourself insane by searching on Google for every little thing you come across as a parent.
After my son turned one I gave up panicking about the slightest things. It was like a gift to myself: No more acting like psycho Tima.
Of course, I couldn’t do it without a pep talk from his godmother and my long-time friend, Meli. She’s always been known to slap some sense into me.
Learning The Ropes
I know it only seems easier than it really is, but there are times I just don’t know how in the world I manage to raise these boys.
I joke around with Jeff saying that whenever I have to go out with our boys, I feel like a single mother. And it can really feel that way.
For a long time — practically most of the first year we spent here in South Florida — I feared going food shopping with my son. I would stack up on everything so I wouldn’t have to do it again for a while.
Genius move, right? Not really.
Shopping was the easy part. Unpacking our car was the toughest. It would take me a good 10 minutes to unload the car when I had Sebastian. I was constantly trying to figure out the best way to unload the car and still nurse him back to sleep when we’d come in from the store.
It was like a nightmare! He’d cry, I’d get frustrated. Forget it! I’d bring the food inside the entrance of our home and deal with putting it all away after I cared for the little one.
But then I tried something even more brilliant. We added a second child to the mix. This time, I knew trusting myself was what I really needed to do.
‘Playing Favorites’
With my first-born, I had to do a lot of soul-searching and figuring out not only about myself but the best way to care for my son. Jeff helped a lot during this crazy time in my life.
I think I cried more than both kids combined.
The first time I left our home with both kids, I was a lot stronger. Of course I questioned if I could even do it, but when I saw the Mama & Papa, I knew I was set.
When we arrived to the store, I strapped our newborn to my chest in the Mama & Papa like Rambo headed to fight.
I was ready for whatever was to come.
And our toddler was ready right there with me. We walked side by side, hand in hand. We were going to conquer this trip.
But then the crying started. You know, the newborn “I’m hungry” cry.
We picked up the essentials from Costco and headed to the food court — it’s been a tradition for Sebastian and I. Popped a boob out, and fed the little guy while the toddler and I shared a pizza and sweet tea.
Now, this was the “new” me. The old me would’ve rushed out of Costco and into the car and fed my hungry baby. I would’ve forgotten about my own needs, and catered to his.
But there was no need to jump into action if we were already going to eat as a family. Plus, I need to set a good example for the boys in showing them how important it is to manage their time.
This time around, I’ve learned to trust myself in making the right decision for my family. Although getting out of the house might seem like challenge with two little ones, it’s a blessing to see their happy faces.
Learn more about our random trips over on Instagram: bit.ly/MTMEinstagram
35 responses to “Trusting Yourself”
Oh I miss those days of having little ones…but when I think of the grocery scenario you mentioned I don't anymore! It's tough being a mama any way you slice it.
Yes! Colette, you know the struggle!
I don't have kids, but am a proud aunt. I love reading about mom's experiences though, and does seem the best advice is always to trust yourself.
Hey, at least you get to enjoy them at their best. 😉
What a heartfelt post! When I had my first, I think I was completely unaware of what was going on! And then adding number two was just insane…now we have a third little one, and it somehow seems much easier. Go figure!
Why is that? I guess we just get used to having more on our plate so it just becomes the new norm. Haha.
I completely agree with you, we need to trust ourselves as parents and not be so hard on ourselves. Parenting is not easy and does not come with a manual. Most of us are doing the best job that we can.
Absolutely!
That is one of the best things I've learned with a special needs child. I need to trust my gut a lot more.
It's never easy. :/
I can totally relate! The nerves can get the best of you! It's so nice that you can blog about it and put it into perspective.
I'll admit that it's still challenging for me to go places with the both of my children even though they're 9 (he turns 10 later on this month) and 3 1/2. This is mostly due to the fact that they've ADHD. Shopping trips can be chaotic, but it just takes time and patience. 🙂
As a mother you have to trust your gut and pray for guidance. It was hard being a morher for the first time. I received a lot of help from my family, thank goodness.
Oh yes, motherhood instinct is real and you need to trust it as hard as it is! I'm still struggling to learn this with my 2 under 2 but getting better every day!
My first trip out with my son, when he was teeny tiny, was so hard. I thought I'd go get a cupcake (how hard could a trip to the store be?!), and then he had a total blowout and needed to be changed. I'd never changed him on the go before, and for some reason the back seat of the car seemed like a good idea (and of course, a changing table would have been the way to go). That was a hard day and I've become much more confident in my skills.